Your personal break up coach provides a key service for their client when they sit down in open session.
Amid all of the talking points that are covered, they are ready and available to listen before offering practical advice that is all aimed to restore confidence.
In 2019 there is often an attempt to quickly move on and log on to a dating app before addressing the issue in a non-judgemental environment.
These specialists have the background and experience to be that sounding board, giving participants a chance to voice their thoughts and express their raw emotion unfiltered.
Let us examine how a personal coach in this setting helps men and women.
Talking to Someone
The first benefit that clients experience by engaging a break up coach is incredibly simple but arguably the most effective element of all – allowing the individual to talk to someone. It is an issue that is commonly associated with just men and whilst expressing emotion and talking about a breakup is not usually their forte, it is a stereotype that also happens to apply to many women. There can be problems associated when talking to friends because of their own relationship to the ex-partner, and awkwardness and shame around family members. Those issues are put to one side as men and women can engage someone without any of those predispositions.
Promoting Positive Post Breakup Behaviours
A break up coach understands that small steps matter. Once positive behaviours are engaged, they slowly accumulate and before long the individual has moved on, even if they have not consciously recognised the progress. From avoiding unwanted contact in person or over the phone to avoiding social media scouring or speaking through intermediaries, there are positive steps that can be taken. This includes contact with loved ones who offer support, taking responsibility for their role in the breakup and even being back on the dating scene at some point in time.
Offering Context to the Breakup
Empathy is a strong component and a focus that a break up coach offers their client. Some practitioners even go as far to call the management of a breakup a skill, but that might be taking the analogy too far. Context is outlining how common this situation can be, discussing how participants of a similar age and profile worked through their issues. The simple recognition that these events are commonplace and there are millions of good news examples post breakup does help in many instances.
Knowing What You Want from the Relationship
In the age of hookup apps and dating websites, the role of the break up coach has forever changed. Some individuals in their early to mid 20s might want to just enjoy the dating scene again whilst others in their 30s or beyond will usually want a more substantive and lasting relationship – although those are stereotypes that can be easily challenged depending on the client. Establishing those parameters and objectives is a helpful exercise that the coach works through as well.
Putting a Bookmark on the Relationship
For some individuals, it will be best practice to engage a clean break without any additional contact. Especially if they have been abusive or have cheated, there is no appetite to continue talks or even being friends. Others though will like to continue a friendship and remain in contact, understanding that there are friends of friends and they don’t want to lose contact with that network simply because they are not together anymore. Making that final judgement with the aid of a break up coach will allow the client to put a bookmark on the relationship and confidently move forward safe in the knowledge they have discussed and considered all elements.
Individuals will have their own means of coping when they engage a professional break up coach. What they will offer constituents is a chance to appropriately grieve but move on in a healthy and substantive fashion.